Wednesday would have been Treasa Lynn Oberly’s 41st birthday, but instead of celebrating another year, friends and family are mourning her death.
“I should be bringing her flowers. Instead, I have her dead flowers on my table and her card,” said Zina Hinkley, referring to the gifts Oberly brought her for her own birthday.
Oberly was reported missing July 16, two days after friends and family had last seen the Beaumont, Alta. woman. Police found her body July 24. Oberly’s boyfriend and father of her child, 43-year-old Kenneth Skelly, has since been charged with second-degree murder in relation to her death.
While RCMP have not yet confirmed details of her death, they did tell Global News “police have dealt with him and her in the past,” referring to Skelly and Oberly.
On July 27, RCMP said 69-year-old Beaumont resident Joseph Donald Skelly was arrested and charged with causing indignity to a dead body. He’s scheduled to appear in court Aug. 3.
Hinkley said Oberly was always there for her, anytime she needed someone.
“Anything she could do, she would do for me,” Hinkley said. “She’d give you the shirt off her back.”
Hinkley said it was “unbelievable” to hear the news that Oberly had gone missing.
“I knew something was wrong because I knew she would never leave her boy,” she said of Oberly’s young son, whose identity cannot be disclosed. “He was her miracle baby. She never thought she could have kids.”
“She’s our Mother Treasa,” Hinkley said, fighting back tears. “She was my angel on earth and she will continue to be my angel.”
Oberly’s death has hit the small city south of Edmonton hard, Hinkley said. She started a GoFundMe so Oberly’s mother could travel to Alberta from the U.S. to take care of her grandson and make arrangements for her daughter.
“He should be with the family he does have, they should be with him,” said Hinkley. “It’s not going to be an overnight thing.
“Justice will never be served and all we can do is honour Treasa.”
Angelica Rojas, Edmonton Violence Prevention Centre counsellor and client services manager, said the centre works with suspected abusers in domestic violence cases and tries to intervene before it’s too late. The big thing, she said, is that the person needs to be aware that they need help and realize that things “may be getting out of control.”
“I think sometimes they just lack that judgement,” Rojas said.
While some level of conflict is healthy in a relationship, Rojas warned of signs to look out for.
“People think that it’s just the physical aspect — often what happens is the emotional starts first and then it’ll start to get physical,” she said. “Even if you’re noticing you’re starting to yell at your partner, or you’re putting them down … even when we get angry, I think a lot of times, we can still respect the other person. And when you start to lose that, when you start to recognize those things, get the help.”
Taking a step back from an argument, or removing yourself from a situation where you notice yourself sweating, shaking or feeling agitated is one way to help yourself, she said, adding that getting into an argument while substances are involved is never a good idea, as all reasoning goes out the window.
Rojas said that since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, there has been a spike in demand for the centre’s services with the next groups not available until April 2024.
While a few months waiting list is normal for the centre, she said this level of demand is new and she’s unsure of whether it’s a good thing.
“Most of the individuals who come to our program are mandated by the courts or probation,” she explained. “So they haven’t come before, which we would love it if we could somehow reach those individuals where it doesn’t get to this point that the police have to be called.”
Provincial data from 2020 — the most recent year available — shows that there were 18 family violence deaths that year. Seven of those deaths occurred in the Edmonton region, which had the highest count of the province’s seven regions. Of those 18 deaths, 61 per cent were single homicides, and 73 per cent of those homicides were committed by a current partner. Sixty-one per cent used a weapon.
2021 marked the fifth consecutive year of increase in domestic violence deaths across Canada, and the seventh consecutive year of increase in domestic violence reports from police across Canada, according to the federal government.
— With files from Sarah Reid, Global News