Following new research announced by the University of Saskatchewan this week helping couples determine their likelihood of reproductive success, a Saskatoon woman has opened up about the toll fertility issues can have on mental health.
“We thought, it happened once, it will happen again,” Katelyn Hildebrand said, remembering her first miscarriage while trying to get pregnant.
“Your mental health takes a huge toll,” Hildebrand said. “It’s a lot of waiting and you feel very isolated and alone. It seems like everyone around you is getting pregnant.”
Hildebrand was working as a labour and delivery nurse in Saskatoon while trying to get pregnant in 2014.
“How could I take care of them through their pregnancy when I couldn’t become one of them?” questioned Hildebrand.
She went through dozens of treatments, tests and inseminations for several years to increase her chances of getting pregnant.
Unfortunately, all attempts were unsuccessful and unexplained.
“When you walk to the grocery store while trying to get pregnant, the first thing you notice is a pregnant woman walking down the street to you,” Hildebrand. “You walk past the baby section of the store and your mind is just so focused on that; it feels like it is never going to happen. It is going to happen to everyone else, but not for you.”
Hildebrand was referred to Calgary in 2019 where she was able to have nine viable embryos extracted, one of which resulted in a pregnancy.
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At six and a half weeks pregnant, Hildebrand experienced her second miscarriage.
“You feel like you have something tangible to hold onto, like, ‘I’m going to try this new medication and this new procedure and this one might finally be it,’ and then when things don’t work out, your hopes start to falter and go away.”
The couple underwent the same exhausting process of embryo transfers once again, hoping for twins.
“It’s scary to be hopeful,” Hildebrand said. “You don’t want to lose that and be devasting.”
Finally, one embryo took and Hildebrand successfully carried out a pregnancy in 2020.
Her daughter will be three years old this July.
“We knew in our hearts that it was something that we wanted, and we felt like was missing from our lives, was children,” Hildebrand said. “The question always comes, when is enough?”
She noted that many families do not have the financial ability to pursue the types of treatments that she is fortunate enough to.
Roger Pierson, professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Saskatchewan, said the expense of an assisted reproduction procedure is high and it’s good for couples to know their chances.
“About one in six couples in the world experiences infertility, subfertility to infertility,” Pierson said.
Pierson’s team at the University of Saskatchewan has developed a new system to help couples determine the probability of pregnancy to help people like Hildebrand get a head start on their way to pregnancy.
Pierson said the Gardner system that was developed in the 1980s allows embryos to be scored on a one-to-six scale, with two other components to the scoring that come in the form of the letters A, B and C.
He said the numeric embryo quality scoring index (NEQsi) system that was developed by his team allows them to convert that into a single digital score that can be put on a probability curve.
He said this is a piece of assisted reproduction technology that is available to doctors and couples.
Hildebrand said throughout the whole process, finding support groups in the community has made a difference in her mental health.
“You do feel alone, even when you are at the clinic, no one talks to anyone else, you kind of sit in your own corner and keep your head down,” Hildebrand explained.
During the midst of her struggles, Hildebrand found You Are Not Alone in Saskatoon, a support group helping members battling infertility.
“Finding people that you can talk to about it is very supportive, and I found very therapeutic.”
She now helps facilitate one of the groups.
“We have members who have chosen to live a child-free life because they have been unable or unsuccessful treatments, so I think it is really great to have members of all kinds of families that are there and can talk about what they did with IVF (in vitro fertilization), what they did with adoption.”
— with files from Global News’ Brody Langager
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