A North Okanagan RCMP officer is speaking out about his experience with PTSD and how music has helped him process trauma.
As a young man, Jonathan Williams pursued a career in music but stepped away to become a police officer and start a family.
Now his front-line experience has brought him back to songwriting and these days Williams’ focus is back on music.
He has a new CD and is booking gigs.
Williams served in the RCMP for over a decade. It was a role he enjoyed.
“It felt like I was really contributing. It was fulfilling,” Williams said.
However, what he witnessed at work started to catch up with him around the same time his marriage was crumbling.
“Even my ex-wife would say you came home and you were a mess: tragedies, trauma, bodies. It was normal stuff when you work but…I was like nope I can’t handle it anymore,” he said.
The demise of his marriage also impacted his work.
He recalls one incident where he handed off a call to colleagues.
“As soon as they left I was rolling up my window as fast as I could because it was coming out. I couldn’t stop it it was amazing. I had to drive away put my sunglasses on and just hope to God that I didn’t get called for something else because I would be showing up and I would be a mess,” Williams said.
“I just found a cul de sac that was very out there and just kind of bawled my eyes out. This is when I knew I need help…I can’t work like this.”
In 2019, he went on leave from the Armstrong detachment and found his way back to music.
“It was through therapy and grieving and struggling with who I was and trying to get to grips with what do I do now. My therapist said at the time, ‘Well, what did you do before the RCMP?'”
Playing old songs turned into writing new ones.
An Okanagan counsellor who specializes in helping front-line workers says art and music therapy can boost positive emotions.
“It allows them to decrease stress by processing emotions. It is really an alternative and really effective way to explore their trauma… especially when there isn’t a way of expressing verbally how they are feeling or what their body is experiencing,” said Lisa Butcher, owner of Three Sisters Clinical Counselling.
That certainly rings true for Williams who said music has been his main source of therapy as he deals with PTSD.
“I have had so much success personally finding a channel that I can use to express the pain and agony. It comes in waves right now but I have definitely come out of an awful place,” he said.
Williams is now planning to retire from the RCMP.
He’ll be focusing on music and using his art to help others with PTSD.