Episode 110: Parted Hair and Heir Apparents

I hate dramatic irony (if you don’t recognize the term, don’t feel bad. You knew it in high school. Just think back to English class many, many years ago. Or, if you’re still in high school, just think back to English class many, many days ago).

To refresh your memory, it’s what you were feeling this episode every time Naomi turned the knife in Annie’s back without Annie knowing it.

Regarding Naomi, I’m torn. On the one hand, she had great hair this episode. She’s replaced the floopiness of her poofy curly “˜do with the sophistication that only straight hair can carry.

On the other hand, she’s really, really mean. I don’t come from a broken home so please forgive my insensitivity but how many more times is she going to use her parents’ divorce to solicit pity? Annie’s suspicions should have been aroused the instant Naomi tried to turn on the waterworks but failed to summon a drop. That alone is enough to show her intentions may not be correct.

And what intentions! I realize I may not be the master tactician of revenge. I’ve never been compared to Sun Tzu, Machiavelli, The Count of Monte Cristo, or The Nerds, but whatever happened to getting back at someone with a whoopie cushion? Apparently flying in someone’s ex-boyfriend and then sleeping with them is much more diabolic (and incidentally, makes for better ratings) than framing someone with a fart.

I’ll also be disappointed if Jason doesn’t return to Beverly Hills. From his hilarious introduction at poolside (was that an allusion to Bo Derek in 10, or Tommy Boy?) to his endearing lack of agenda, I think he has a very bright future in the 90210 fold as the big, dumb animal of the group. He’s stupid, but ya love him anyway.

After such conniving within the first several episodes, it’d be refreshing to see a teenager whose biggest concerns are passing the English test and getting a date for Friday night. That’s why I like the Navid/Adrianna storyline. I think it was in the show’s best interests to avoid the “my parents don’t approve of your self-abusive ways” angle. It’s much too obvious a story arc. While I run the risk of sounding like a sadist, I’d love to see Navid completely turn Adrianna’s life around only for her to toss him aside once she’s draped in the spotlight she so desperately craves. Season Two could then be dubbed, “The Revenge of Navid”. That has “˜ratings juggernaut’ written all over it.

Another ratings juggernaut COULD be the arrival of Naomi and Annie’s half-brother, Sean. As with all newcomers to a teen drama, he needs a love interest. Call me a skeptic, but I doubt the show will stroll down the path less traveled and introduce incest to the mix, which only really leaves Silver. Now, what if the show were to tear a page from the playbook of another teen drama by having Sean steal Silver from Dixon, only to realize, long after the audience has figured it out, he’s gay?

Now THAT’s what I’d call “˜dramatic irony’.