One year hence, many of the series mentioned in the following preview will be faded memories. Just think back to some of last year’s shiny new contestants: Justice and Rumours. Kidnapped and Vanished. Six Degrees and Day Break. The Nine and Twenty Good Years. All gone and most forgotten. But don’t give up hope! Rob McKenzie has sifted through the autumn crop and presents his night-by-night findings below, with the top 10 newcomers labelled according to rank.
MONDAY
K-VILLE
debuted last night, Fox/E! 9 p.m.
You could call this cop drama gritty, but maybe silty is a better word, given that it’s set in post-Katrina New Orleans. Anthony Anderson (The Shield, Barbershop) is Marlin Boulet, who sticks it out as part of the thin blue wall after the levees break. This cop drinks on the job and commits borderline torture of a suspect, but is redeemed by his touches: stuffing a sub packed with tomatoes and onions down his gullet for a quick lunch, measuring his daughter’s height on the wall. Action bits are good, and I especially like Derek Webster as Charlie Pratt, an ex-cop who freaked out during the flood and is desperately trying to claw his way back; he’s a metaphor for the city even more than Marlin is.
CHUCK (No. 2 pick)
debuts Sept. 24, NBC/Citytv, 8 p.m.
Compare Chuck and Reaper: In both, the twentysomething hero is a nice guy who works at a big-box computer store but lacks ambition. He’s useless with women. He has a chubby, bearded sidekick. But due to circumstances beyond his control, he becomes the tool of a higher power: in Chuck’s case, spymasters; in Reaper’s case, Satan. These are both very good shows, and I have Chuck and Reaper as No. 2a and 2b among the season’s best new programs. I give Chuck the edge because its star beats Reaper’s star. The series is suitable for tweeners, but probably not for younger kids (gunshot death, babe in undies, dirty dancing). Read Rob McKenzie on Chuck. Zachary Levi as Chuck Bartowski
in Chuck.
JOURNEYMAN
debuts Sept. 24, NBC/ Global, 10 p.m.
The gimmick: Reporter travels 20 years back in time — and still can’t file by deadline.
The star: Kevin McKidd, veteran of British theatre and a conflicted soldier when in Rome.
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The babes: Gretchen Egolf as his wife, Moon Bloodgood as his I-thought-you-were-dead girlfriend.
The setting: San Francisco.
The verdict: Quantum Leap if Ziggy were a babe. Subject to confusion with Moonlight and Life in the tormented-man-on-a-mission category (mercifully, a fourth show in this genre, New Amsterdam, which featured a 400-year-old cop lookin’ for love, has been delayed until next year).
THE BIG BANG THEORY
debuts Sept. 24, CBS, 8:30 p.m.
This is what Three’s Company would have been if Jack and Janet were rocket scientists. Chrissy in this case is Penny, the babe who moves in next door to smart dorks played by Johnny Galecki and Jim Parsons. The pilot has some good punchlines and I wouldn’t bet against it, given that one of its creators is Chuck Lorre, the man behind Two and a Half Men, which is a viewer favourite. CTV will pick up Bang after Dancing with the Stars ends for the season.
ALIENS IN AMERICA (No. 5 pick)
debuts Oct. 1, The CW/Sun TV
The best new sitcom of the season. A Midwestern middle-class family with a geeky son (I could tell he was a geek because it was like looking at my Grade 11 school picture) takes in an exchange student, expecting some nice Scandinavian lad.What they get is a Pakistani Muslim. The pilot is very funny, but the show could flounder (like its lead-in, Everybody Hates Chris) because of The CW’s second-tier status. And since the pilot was shot, Scott Patterson (Luke from Gilmore Girls) has stepped in to replace Patrick Breen as the dad, which is a shame as Breen acted very much like an older version of his dweeby son. Read Rob McKenzie on Aliens in America.
Dan Byrd as Justin, Adhir Kalyan as Raja stars in Aliens in America. Trae Patton photo.
SAMANTHA WHO?
debuts Oct. 15, ABC, 9:30 p.m.
Accident victim wakes up from a coma with amnesia, and learns she was a real jerk before her accident. Christine Applegate is likeable in the title role, but since her character clearly wants to transform from bad to nice, where’s the tension? Will it be like My Name is Earl, where she wins back one heart at a time (some are calling this My Name Is Girl)? Biggest asset is Applegate with her Cupid’s-bow smile.
TUESDAY
REAPER (No. 3 pick)debuts Sept. 25, CW/Citytv, 9 p.m.
See Chuck under Monday’s newcomers. Reaper’s idea is that before Bret was born, his parents sold his soul to the Devil. If Reaper has an edge over Chuck, it’s that Tyler Labine of Brampton, Ont., who plays a sidekick named Sock, could be this season’s Hiro, the comic-relief guy who steals a hit show. Citytv, which astutely picked up Ugly Betty and Men in Trees last year, is airing both Chuck and Reaper in Canada. Read Rob McKenzie on Reaper.
Bret Harrison as Sam and Tyler Labine as Sock in Reaper. Michael Courtney photo.
PUSHING DAISIES (No. 8 pick)
debuts Oct. 2 on CTV, 8 p.m., and Oct. 3 on ABC, 8 p.m.
“According to the 2007 Hype Act,” writes Maureen Ryan of the Chicago Tribune, “critics are required by law to love this show, which tells the tale of a young piemaker with the gift of bringing corpses to life.” Watch the pilot, it’s fantastic, but I suspect the quality is not sustainable and the series could flatline. It’s family-friendly, though at one point a ditzy character says she used to think masturbation was the word that meant chewing (that’s mastication, and please don’t try both at the same time). Anna Friel, who plays a beloved corpse, reminds me of Mary-Louise Parker. Read more about Pushing Daisies.
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The cast of Pushing Daisies.
CAVEMEN
debuts Oct. 2 on ABC, 8 p.m.
Cavemen is based on Geico commercials about metrosexual apemen. The problem isn’t the idea — after all, Transformers made zillions of dollars this summer and it’s based on plastic toys — it’s the execution. The pilot was humour-free. It’s being reshot, and the cast has been shuffled, but I think this one will get hit by an asteroid after two or three episodes.
CARPOOLERS (No. 7 pick)
debuts Oct. 2 on ABC, 8:30 p.m.
Sounds like a feeble premise, but show is surprisingly funny. It’s like Train 48, but even better. The car ride is just the taking-off point: a vehicle for a look at the lives of men. The four male characters are interesting for their foibles. Bruce McCulloch from Kids in the Hall is the creator. His fellow executive producers are brothers Joe and Anthony Russo, who previously did Arrested Development. Read Rob McKenzie on Carpoolers.
THE TUDORS
debuts Oct. 2 on CBC, 9 p.m.
This ran on Showtime in the States back in April, so it’s a stretch to call it a new series, but we’ll stretch, given that a lot of people love this Renaissance romp and that the CBC was a partner in the production. Starring Jonathan Rhys Meyers as the young King Henry VIII, with Canada’s Henry Czerny as a conniving duke.
CANE
debuts Sept. 25 on CBS and Global, 10 p.m.
It has its moments. Jimmy Smits is always watchable as the up-and-coming head of a Cuban-American sugarcane empire. Ken Howard, who was the coach long ago on The White Shadow, is effective as an oily rival.
There’s lots of singin’, dancin’ and pig-roastin’. But overall it’s flat. Actual line of dialogue: “Sugar is the new oil.”
CASHMERE MAFIA (No. 10 pick)
debuts Dec. 4 on ABC and E!
Swatches of Cashmere feel stitched together from remnants of Sex and the City (four successful women in NYC compare life notes), it veers into cliche and the ostensible star, Lucy Liu, is muted, for some reason, though she does get to wear cute outfits. But, her co-stars are so good that, even with wooden dialogue, their characters seem alive and real. They give the pilot its heart, compensating for its shortage of brains.Cashmere could take a while to get its act together but prove to be worth the wait. Read Rob McKenzie on the Cashmere Mafia.
The cast of the Cashmere Mafia.
GOSSIP GIRL
debuts Sept. 18 on CTV, 8 p.m. and Sept. 19 on The CW, 9 p.m.
The worst new show. It’s shiny and soulless, with characters so young, so pretty, so jaded. The tone is epitomized by a tagline Clifford Olson could agree with: “You’re nobody until you’re talked about.” The narrator, alleged online must-read Gossip Girl, is beyond banal: “You know who loves parties? Gossip Girl”; and, “There’s nothing Gossip Girl likes more than a good catfight, and this could be a classic.” Wow! Hot stuff! And here’s some tender mother-to-daughter dialogue: “Blair, you will never be more beautiful or thin or happy than you are right now. ? Put some product in your hair, the ends are dry.” Why would anyone watch this festival of loathing? I liked The Best Years better. The main character is named Serena van der Woodsen, which I believe makes her a second cousin of Art Vandelay.
WEDNESDAY
BACK TO YOU
debuts Sept. 19 on Fox and Global, 8 p.m.
The doofus boss. The lusty, busty weathergirl. The plaid-jacketed, sexist sportscaster. The blowhard anchorman. Frasier Crane. Debra Barone. Him: “This just in!” Her: “Your exact words that night, as I recall.” Ba-da-boom. Paint-by-numbers pilot is nothing special.
KID NATION
debuts Sept 19 on CBS and E!, 8 p.m.
Forty kids are given 40 days to revive a ghost town. Well, not a ghost town, more of a film set in New Mexico that looks like a ghost town. The series has been criticized as child exploitation, given that in many states it would be illegal. CBS counters that it was a summer camp. Right, with councellors from a Khmer Rouge youth brigade. If Kid Nation lags in the ratings, it could be terminated quickly.
PRIVATE PRACTICE
debuts Sept. 26 on ABC and CTV, 9 p.m.
Dr. Addison Montgomery takes her practiced privates to Los Angeles in this Grey’s Anatomy spin-off, which was introduced during Grey’s itself last spring. The cast is full of medium-big names — Tim Daly, Amy Brenneman, Paul Adelstein, Taye Diggs. Kate Walsh, who plays Addison, is a very good actress, but Private Practice could be this year’s Studio 60. Isn’t one Grey’s Anatomy enough?
LIFE
debuts Sept. 26 on NBC and Global, 10 p.m.
The gimmick: Framed for triple homicide, cop served 12 years, found inner peace.
The star: Damian Lewis, veteran of British theatre and HBO’s Band of Brothers.
The babe: Sarah Shahi, a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader in real life, plays his squad-car partner.
The setting: Los Angeles.
The verdict: Lifeless. Sleepy.
BIONIC WOMAN (No. 1 pick)
debuts Sept. 26 on NBC and E!, 9 p.m.
Many pilots feel like the producers were trying to sell a pilot; but this one is trying to sell a series, right down to the “To Be Continued ?” at the end. Heroes felt the same way last year — it left you wanting more. Michelle Ryan is credible as the heroine; the scene in which she first sees her bionic legs is priceless. After initial version of pilot was shot, gay-bashing Grey’s Anatomy outcast Isaiah Washington was added to the cast and will be in five of the first six episodes. Created by David Eick, executive producer of Battlestar Galactica. Read more on Bionic Woman.
Michelle Ryan as the Bionic Woman.
DIRTY SEXY MONEY (No. 6 pick)
debuts Sept. 26 on ABC and Sept. 30 on CTV, 10 p.m.Think of it as Brothers & Sisters & Their Good-Looking Lawyer. Peter Krause (Nate from Six Feet Under) plays an advocate of the common good who reluctantly accepts his late father’s job as inhouse legalist for a powerful, and powerfully screwed up, New York family. Krause’s salary negotiation reminded me of my arrival at the Post– they offer five mill, you ask for 10. The dynastic patriarch is Donald Sutherland and the matriarch is Jill Clayburgh. The Dirty Sexy pilot was fun, witty and messy in a good way. Bonus: scenes in which Krause and Sutherland go toe-to-toe. Read more on Dirty Sexy Money.
Peter Krause in Dirty Sexy Money.
NO OPPORTUNITY WASTED
debuts Oct. 3 on CBC, 8:30 p.m.
Presented by Phil Keoghan, the host of CBS’s Amazing Race, this is a mix of Fear Factor and a makeover show, in which subjects are given 72 hours to confront a personal bugaboo, be it bungee jumping or swimming alongside sharks. Each half-hour episode has two subjects, so there should be less padding than on many reality shows and a brisker pace.
THURSDAY
ACROSS THE RIVER TO MOTOR CITY (No. 9 pick)
debuts Nov. 22 on Citytv
While half the tale is in Detroit, the other half lies across the river in Windsor, Ont. It takes place not only in two cities and two countries but two eras: 1963, when private eye Ben Ford’s girlfriend disappeared on the day JFK died; and the present, when her body is belatedly found, forcing Ben, by now an old man, to deal with the past he lost and the present from which he is estranged.
It’s a show crafted by Canadians for a Canadian network with a pleasantly confusing plot. Read more about Across The River to Motor City.
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
debuts Oct. 11 on CBC, 7:30 p.m.
Thirteen Canadian celebrities (i.e., all of them) learn about their family tree. Subjects include Don Cherry, Maragaret Trudeau and Sonja Smits. The network purports that in one episode, Steven Page of the Barenaked Ladies “unearths details of Jewish massacres in Poland.” Speaking of genealogy, Who Do You Think You Are? looks like the illicit offspring of History Television’s Ancestor in the Attic. And a twist: While many would call this a reality series, it’s being presented under the shingle of the CBC’s documentary unit.
BIG SHOTS
debuts Sept. 27 on ABC and CTV, 10 p.m.
These are the men the Carpoolers work for, brash members of the CEO class. Unfortunately, they are not very sympathy-inducing, except for Michael Vartan, formerly of Alias; whether by acting ability or the fortunes of the script, he conveys more genuine emotion than his three peers (Dylan McDermott, Joshua Malina, Christopher Titus) combined. Too many cliches. There’s a ghastly scene wherein McDermott, for whatever reason, conducts a spiel while hitting golf balls off the roof of a building. Some hapless employee almost falls off the neighbouring building as he tries to nab the Titleists with his baseball mitt. The original title was Big Dicks; they should simply have dropped the “Big.”
FRIDAY
WOMEN’S MURDER CLUB
debuts Oct. 12 on ABC and E!, 9 p.m.
Dull as dishwater. Four women (a coroner, a reporter, a lawyer and a cop) team up to solve crimes. The women are smart and hot, the men are attentive or useless. Naturally, the women are looking for love. Angie Harmon, who plays the cop, interrogates a suspect; he just sits there and takes it — only later does he provide his airtight alibi. Why? So Harmon can make a tough-cop speech. And there’s comedy: the ol’ two-phone-conversations-at-the-same-time bit, wa-hey. Laced with emo music.
MOONLIGHT (No. 4 pick)
debuts Sept. 28 on CBS and CTV, 9 p.m.
The gimmick: Vampire detective.
The star: Alex O’Loughlin, veteran of Australian theatre and The Shield.
The babes: Shannyn Sossamon (bo-bannon, banana-fana, fo-fan-non) as the vampire one, Sophia Myles (bo-byles, banana-fana, fofyles) as the human one.
The setting: New York at night.
The verdict: Surprisingly good. Uses the eternal life of vampires to ask the question, “Why do we go on living?” Read more about Moonlight.
ROYAL CANADIAN AIR FARCE
Friday on CBC, 8 p.m.
One week before premiering its 439th season, Air Farce reruns its 300th episode, which we tried to watch the first time around and lasted about 75 seconds before deciding that doing the dishes held more merriment potential. Air Farce mercilessly skewers federal politicians with the padded pillow of Canadian-style satire.
SUNDAY
LIFE IS WILD
debuts Oct. 7 on The CW, 8 p.m.
A good fit for its time slot, this is like Wonderful World of Disney with a dash of teen angst. A New York veterinarian, remarried after his first wife’s death, moves the family to South Africa, where his father-in-law runs a game reserve. Lots of animal scenes (who can resist a lion cub?), and Andrew St. John and Leah Pipes are quite good as the teenaged step-sibs. The series is cloned from British ITV’s Wild at Heart, in which Hayley Mills plays the new wife’s mom. It’s shot in South Africa. Canadian carrier E! plans to use Life is Wild as a midseason replacement.
HEARTLAND
debuts Oct. 14 on CBC, 7 p.m.
Characters in this saga of an Alberta ranch for rehabbing horses include “the hunky new stable boy with a tragic past”; teenager Amy, who “realizes she has inherited her mother’s special horse whispering gift”; Grandpa Jack; “the precocious 11-year-old girl next door who has an answer for every question”; and “Scott, the local vet who had a thing for Lou back in high school–and maybe still does.” Note that Lou is a gal, though the series might be more interesting if Lou were a dude.
DA KINK IN MY HAIR
debuts Oct. 14 on Global, 7:30 p.m.
Ray Davies as a Brixton barber? No, this is about life, love and lather at a Jamaican-Canadian hairdressers’ salon in Toronto. Can’t say the pilot knocked my socks off. However, one bit stood out, when it is mentioned that “CP time” stands for “coloured people’s time,” the idea being that it’s often to blame for delays. Try getting away with that one on Air Farce.
VIVA LAUGHLIN
debuts Oct. 18 on CBS and E! at 10 p.m., then on Oct. 21 switches to regular slot on Sundays at 8 p.m.
Debut episode has Hugh Jack-man rendering an over-the-top version of Sympathy for the Devil, which makes for a fun clip. Based on BBC’s Viva Blackpool, which was great fun, Laughlin hopes lightning strikes twice and American audiences are game for a drama with musical bits mixed in. A strong contender for first new series to be cancelled.
TELL ME YOU LOVE ME
started Sept. 9 on The Movie Network and Movie Central, 9 p.m.
This HBO-produced series is already controversial for its explicit sex, particularly a full-on scene of a wife giving her husband a hand. The drama follows three couples and their marriage counsellor, the latter played by Jane Alexander. The pilot was shot in Winnipeg. The cast has said they bonded during shooting of pilot because there was nothing else to do in Winnipeg. Seriously.
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