It is a support group they wish they weren’t a part of.
“I have lost a piece of myself, it is so hard,” Norma Arnold told Global news.
The Kelowna woman belongs to a small support group of parents who have all lost a child.
“We don’t just sit and cry, we laugh about our kids and stuff too and we laugh at each other and we share the good and the bad,” Arnold said. It makes it easier to have somebody that you can talk to that knows.”
Arnold’s son Dustin Knelsen was involved in a bad car accident in 2012. Shortly after, he got hooked on drugs and eventually died of an overdose in December, 2015.
For Arnold, being part of the support group is comforting.
“Just finding out I am not the only crazy person in the world…because that is how you feel after something like this happens,” an emotional Arnold said.
Leslie and Ron Leew also belong to the group. The Penticton couple lost their 16-year-old daughter Madison to suicide in March, 2015.
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“It’s just a massive hole in your life, a massive hole,” Ron Leew told Global News.
Madison Leew was a competitive swimmer and horse lover. Her parents described her as a happy child, up until she started high school and developed depression.
“She was put on medication, started withdrawing from her friends, started skipping school,” Ron Leew said.
And even though more than three years have passed since their daughter’s passing, the emotions are still raw.
“You look to see your daughter get married, fall in love, have children, you have grandchildren, that is gone and there is no way to bring that back,” a tearful Leslie Leew said.
The grieving parents said they find solace at the support meetings.
“I can open up to these people, talk to them about the real details of everything and how I feel whereas I can talk to my family, I can talk to my friends, I can talk to Leslie’s family but they are pretty uncomfortable with the topic, I just feel I am burdening them.” Ron Leew said.
The support group was started by Kelowna resident Laura MacDonald. She too knows what it’s like to lose a child. Her son Adam Fettes was murdered in his West Kelowna home 11 years ago.
MacDonald is hoping other parents who’ve lost children will reach out if they need to.
“There’s people who don’t know this service is here and they don’t have to pay for it,” MacDonald said. “You’ve got this lifeline of people that you want or need to email or talk to or whatever, it’s there. It’s kind of like — counseling goes, and it’s ended after an hour or two hours — and this is, we are just open.”
The group meets once a month at MacDonald’s house.
For more information, you can contact Laura MacDonald at grievingokparents@gmail.com
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