Ontario woman empowering, mentoring domestic abuse survivors

When Samra Zafar was a child, she had a dream of going to Harvard University and becoming a professor.

“I grew up in Abu Dhabi, the eldest of four girls, but very ambitious, very much pushing the envelope and always challenging the stereotypes,” said Zafar.

That dream was shattered at 16 when her mother told her she had received a marriage proposal from a man much older, now living in Canada.

“I felt that my life is just completely turned upside down. I was petrified and terrified,” said Zafar.

“But there was this hope that I will get to go to university in Canada, and I think that’s kind of what carried me through at that time.”

She spent the next ten years humiliated by her husband, and abused both mentally and physically.

“Eventually when the physical abuse happened, I’d completely lost my defence mechanism – my voice, my identity, my courage to speak up or stand up to it. And I just took it because that’s what I deserved and I didn’t know any better,” said Zafar.

“When my father passed away, he said the words, ‘You don’t need anybody else… You have that strength inside you, realize that strength and get out of it.’ I lost my rock, which was my dad, and I thought to myself, if anyone is going to do this, it’s going to be me.”

Zafar left her marriage at the age of 26, pursued her education as a single mother of two daughters, and while working various jobs, she managed to graduate as the top student at the University of Toronto while winning numerous awards and scholarships along the way.

“One particular person who has just been a life-changing influence for me has been John Rothschild. He took me under his wing as a mentor, a friend, and he’s the closest thing that I have to a father,” she said.

“I am in awe in her determination and how she figured out how she could break free, go on to a better life for herself, for her children and for those around her,” said Rothschild.

Today, Zafar is a financial services professional, a motivational speaker and a mentor who is empowering women to find their voice and to begin healing from victim to survivor.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and I don’t have to be scared hiding away all the time. I have someone like Samra to connect with, to go to for guidance and mentorship,” said Ayesha Jamil, one of Zafar’s mentees.

“My message is never stop believing in yourself and believing in your right for respect and freedom,” said Zafar.