Every job has parts that are easier and parts that are more difficult. For police officers, one of the more challenging aspects is having to notify next of kin of a serious or fatal car crash.
Having to talk to the family of crash victims is one of the toughest things police have to do, says Sgt. Victor Dhillon is with the Winnipeg Police Service, Traffic Division.
“It’s the worst news that you could ever deliver to a family,” Dhillon said.
“Often times with a car crash, people are just going about their regular day’s business. That is never how anyone expects that a loved one is going to pass away. It is always unexpected and tragic news when it is delivered.”
Police upgrade their training constantly, but Dhillon said it is difficult to be truly prepared for what comes when delivering bad news.
“You just try and be empathetic as much as you can be without really knowing how that person feels.”
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He said officers, who have seen the full extent of the crash, complete with horrific detail, have to break the news to loved ones with clarity and sensitivity.
“We have seen the worst aspect of what has happened and we have to try and deliver the news in a way that is accurate for the sake of the family, but compassionate in its deliverance – as compassionate as you can be when you are turning a person’s world upside down.”
Dhillon said there is no real script used, that each crash is dealt with uniquely, but there are words commonly used.
“You show up at a person’s door and they are always surprised to see you.”
“The word ‘unfortunate’ is always used. ‘We’re here to deliver some terrible news to you and I’m sorry to tell you but your son or daughter, mother, aunt, brother, husband has been involved in a terrible accident’. More or less that’s the way it goes.”
Dhillon said everyone deals with the news differently.
Some people rush away to get to the hospital or to grieve in private, while others have a need for answers. Officers do what they can to give the family whatever time they need.
“We take as long as it takes. If it takes five minutes, we’ll take five minutes. If it takes an hour, we’ll take an hour.”
Constable George Kullman is a collision analyst with the Winnipeg Police Service. He said officers take pride in being professional and purposeful when delivering news.
“You know that you need to do it as professionally as possible,” Kullman said. “They need to know the facts and they want to know what’s going on.”
“It’s important to tell them as much as you can, knowing that you can’t tell them everything because an investigation is still underway.”
Kullman echoed Dhillon in saying the task is never easy or taken lightly.
One of the most important things, he said, is to be clear with the family when it is a fatality, so they don’t have false hope.
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“You don’t want them to go to the hospital thinking maybe they are still okay or something can still be done. They need to know right away what had happened.”
“Their lives will never be the same after that,” he Kullman said.
Dhillon said, in addition to being a difficult task itself, investigating crashes and having to be the bearers of bad news takes a toll on officers after the fact.
Officers, many of whom are parents, must be careful to not let their work have a negative impact their own family life. At the end of the work day, there might be soccer practice to go to, or errands to run. Life continues.
“You try not to take your work home with you,” Dhillon said. “You are not human if these things don’t affect you in some way shape or form, but you carry on – that’s your job.”
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