Saturday Night Live returned with a few different characters, including spoofs of Michael Avenatti, Lori Loughlin and Julian Assange, arguing over who is the craziest while in prison.
The skit begins with a few prisoners talking about their crimes and how they got in the slammer, when Loughlin, played by Kate McKinnon, pops out.
She talks of bribing university officials $500,000 to get her daughter into the University of Southern California (USC), where she majored in communications. She’s now an Instagram influencer.
“I own the guards in here, I helped their kids get into a really competitive pre-JK,” she says, referring to herself as “Brother Becky.”
Brother Becky explains that she joined the Nation of Islam.
“I bought my way in for $100-grand plus another hundred for them to stop calling me the ‘white devil,'” the Lori Loughlin character quips.
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She’s also done 68 Hallmark movies, proving she’s been through more than the other prisoners.
“I’ve seen hell, man,” Brother Becky says.
But then, another prisoner appears who seems even more hardened than Becky.
It’s none other than lawyer Michael Avenatti, played by Pete Davidson.
“I’ve been accused of crimes you can’t even conceive of,” Avenatti brags. “Like blackmailing a sneaker company.”
Avenatti says he’s so crazy that a porn star said she wanted to distance herself from him.
Then Julian Assange, played by Michael Keaton, appears. He questions whether Avenatti really is the craziest of the bunch.
While a fellow prisoner almost mistook him for Santa “back on crack,” Assange reassures that it is indeed him, the “architect of anarchy.”
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“You want to throw down?” Assange challenges a prisoner, threatening to post his “ding dong” pics to the internet.
“I know everything baby,” Assange says, despite the prisoner saying he uses both letters and numbers in his password.
However, Assange did really have to “take a wikileak.”