Scott Thompson: Why the LCBO is like Santa Claus and a trip to the dentist

Going to the LCBO is like a combination of going to see Santa Claus and a visit to the dentist, Scott Thompson says. Brett Gundlock / National Post

Here is a rant you’re either going to love or hate.

Going to the LCBO is like a combination of going to see Santa Claus and a visit to the dentist.

Santa Claus — because in the end, you have a smile on your face. The dentist — because of the pain and agony you had to endure to put the smile on your face.

READ MORE: LCBO releases logos for ‘Ontario Cannabis Store,’ and people are underwhelmed

I love a government monopoly, especially when it smells, sounds, and has the culture of an airport duty-free or customs.

On the way home, I pop by my local “Fort LCBO” to buy my wife her favourite wine. The only problem is her wine isn’t always where it was last week. That’s because of Fort LCBO’s monthly military maneuver of moving all the shelves and product around.

Story continues below advertisement

Why? Maybe because they want you to spend more time in the store shopping, walking up and down every aisle. So they move the vodka to where the scotch was and the wine is now where the liquors used to be.

Would your local grocery store do that? No, because you would get tired of them wasting your time and go to their competition.

READ MORE: Former TD Bank CEO Ed Clark to become new chairman of LCBO, steer Ontario’s marijuana sales

Unfortunately, we don’t have that option with a government monopoly such as the LCBO.

Wait until they are running the pot shops. Everyone will be walking around in circles bumping into each other!

Scott Thompson hosts The Scott Thompson Show on Global News Radio 900 CHML.

Sponsored content