Glutton for punishment: How long will it take to walk off the CNE’s ‘Notorious P.I.G.’?

Fairs have never been havens of healthy eating – candy apples are as close as it gets. Cotton candy and deep-fried anything is more the style.

But in the world of fat with fat and carbs and fat and sugar with sugar, CNE concession Bacon Nation’s “Notorious P.I.G. Combo” is in a class by itself.

First up is the ”Canuck Burger” – two bacon patties topped with a thick-cut piece of peameal bacon, lettuce and tomato (“We had to take it out to the garden, because if it’s not, it’s all slaughterhouse,” Bacon Nation’s Dan Motta explains) bacon mayonnaise and a bun with bacon bits.

“Bacon cheddar fries” follow, with a bacon milkshake (“I was skeptical, but I tried it yesterday and it was delicious”) and to top that off, a bacon-wrapped Mars bar.

“I kind of recommend it for sharing,” Motta says. “But if somebody is up for the challenge, they probably won’t have to eat for a couple of days.”
Motta estimates the package clocks in at 7,500 calories.

“If somebody’s really up for the challenge, the opportunity’s there for the taking, and the bragging rights,” he said. “When people come to the CNE, they’re not there to eat salad. It’s like a vacation from their diet. We’re trying to give them what they want.”

After working your way through all that fat and protein, and perhaps suffering some buyer’s remorse and indigestion, it might seem like a good idea to work it off through a nice healthy walk.

But how long a walk will do the job?

Well, if you were planning ahead, you would have brought your hiking boots to the Ex. Assuming a 160-pound adult and a moderate pace of two miles an hour (there’s a lot of distance to cover – better pace yourself) the Mayo Clinic estimates you can burn about 100 calories a mile. That works out to 63 calories a kilometre, or – gentle reader, we had to break it to you eventually – in this case just about exactly 120 kilometres.

(Ideally, the media is supposed to afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted. We’re not sure what category this falls under – perhaps both.)

Perhaps helpfully, we’ve prepared five suggested walks: All will take about 24 hours of dedicated trudging, and all will give you a good long look at south-central Ontario’s glorious summer scenery. (Well, some more than others.)

Click on a suggested route for details.