Warning: There is some strong language in this story. Discretion is advised.
If you needed an update on whether the B.C. cats are still holding the Vitamix box hostage — they certainly are.
Jessica and Nikii Gerson-Neeves bought themselves a Vitamix during last year’s Black Friday sale and when Jessica put the box down upon delivery, one of their cats — Max, also known as the “sentient soccer ball” — jumped up immediately.
“I thought, ‘How cute,’ and proceeded to take a picture because I’m a cat person and we take pictures every time they sneeze,” Gerson-Neeves told Global News.
What started as this cute moment in their Vancouver Island kitchen has turned into a weeks-long standoff involving the couple, a new Vitamix and three determined cats.
The standoff involves George, also known as “destroyer of worlds,” and Lando Calrissian, also called “sentient dust bunny.”
The felines take turns sitting on top of the box and when one jumps off to eat or sleep, another jumps on.
The Gerson-Neeves have been chronicling the adventures on a Facebook page that now has 23,000 followers and their story has received worldwide attention.
They thought that being cats, the animals would quickly lose interest.
But it has been more than three weeks — and counting.
On Jan. 2, the couple had reached out to Vitamix Canada for help.
Vitamix responded and sent three empty decoy boxes but that didn’t seem to work. The trio reverted back to the original box.
“At this point, it’s fun,” Gerson-Neeves said, responding to those who just say pick up the cats and retrieve the blender.
“Of course, we’re not actually being held hostage. Of course, we could pick the cats up, pull them off the Vitamix and open the box. But they’re having fun, we’re having fun, a whole bunch of people across the world are keeping track of this and loving it.”
Gerson-Neeves is a psychotherapist and said there is so much going on in the world and it’s almost “universally negative.”
“Omicron is everywhere; everyone knows someone who’s sick. Here in B.C. there has been natural disaster after natural disaster,” said Gerson-Neeves.
“Everything is a lot. We are all exhausted and overwhelmed. I think politically, things are as divided as they have ever been. It’s really hard to find common ground.
“Finding something that everyone, everyone can look at and go, ‘This is completely ridiculous and hilarious,’ is something that is sorely needed.”
Gerson-Neeves added joy is in short supply for a lot of people and they don’t want to force that to end.
“We’re having a good time, the cats are having a good time, people are having a good time and we all really need that right now.”
With media requests and people reaching out from around the world, Gerson-Neeves said it has been overwhelming, but in a good way.
“I think my wife said it best to me the other day, which was, ‘Find joy where it lives’. And, at the moment where it lives is in our kitchen on a Vitamix box,” Gerson-Neeves said. “In a world where everything is overwhelming and seems bad and everything moves very very fast, it is important to find things to make room for being patient and finding things to laugh at, finding things that are good and humorous, even if they are little things that are of no consequence.
“To really find the joy in the day-to-day because that’s what keeps you going when everything feels like too much.”