BOLD SUMMER PREDICTIONS!!!!
Well folks, summer has nearly arrived. Officially it starts June 20th. Even though the weather here in Southern Alberta has yet to deliver, I promise I will. Here are some BOLD sports predictions for the next few months.
TIGER WOODS WILL WIN THE US OPEN BY 38 STROKES
Look folks, the planet’s best golfer won last year’s Open in a playoff over Rocco Mediate with a stress fracture in his left leg!!! Quickly afterwards, Woods had knee surgery to repair the damage. Back on the scene in 2009, Tiger has played in 7 events, taking the title in two of them. In his last tournament before Bethpage Black (site of this year’s US Open), Woods won The Memorial in grand style, rallying on Sunday with a 7-under 65. He never missed a fairway in the final round, hitting 14 out of 14. The only weakness in Woods’ game in recent years is a somewhat wayward tee shot. With Tiger on the short stuff on Long Island, everyone else will by vying for a distant second place.
BRETT FAVRE WILL PLAY IN THE NFL IN 2009, JUST NOT IN MINNESOTA
Perhaps the quarterback should take up boxing, because in that sport, retirement is just something to do in between bouts. After the 2008 NFL season, Favre “retired” from the New York Jets—a year after he “retired” from the Green Bay Packers. Now rumours swirl that the 39-year-old is interested in playing for the Minnesota Vikings.
So here’s how it’s going to go: Favre will sign with the Vikings this summer, “retire” midway through training camp, sign with Tampa Bay 4 days later, “retire” after the second exhibition game due to dehydration, sign with Buffalo, “retire” after Week 7 because Terrell Owens is unhappy only being targeted 20 times a game, sign with Washington, “retire” after the Redskins fall out of the playoff chase…and finally sign with Green Bay for the post season after starting QB Aaron Rodgers goes down for the year injured. Then “retire” once again.
MANNY RAMIREZ RETURNS TO THE MAJORS 100 POUNDS LIGHTER
The outfielder can rejoin the Los Angeles Dodgers July 3rd. Man-Ram was suspended by the Major Leagues for 50 games for failing its drug policy. Ramirez proclaims innocence, but was caught with a synthetic testosterone in his body—due to a prescription for hCG (human chorionic gonadotrophin)—a drug normally used for female fertility issues. Maybe that explains Manny’s hair…
Whether his Dodger teammates will believe Ramirez never did steroids remains to be seen, but there’s no doubt suspicion will be aroused when he borrows Juan Pierre’s uniform for his first game back.
KEVIN LOWE SHOWS EDMONTON OILERS FANS WHO’S THE BOSS
Last summer, the NHL club hired Steve Tambellini as general manager, bumping up Kevin Lowe to team president of hockey operations. And it appears, Tambellini is in charge, as he fired Lowe’s buddy Craig MacTavish as head coach, after the Oil missed the playoffs this spring.
However, there will be no question Lowe is really the one calling the shots, when on July 1st, after the NHL’s free-agency period begins, the Oilers offer defenceman Rob Scuderi a 7-year $66 million dollar offer sheet.
A MINOR WILL WIN POKER’S BIGGEST TOURNAMENT
In July, the World Series of Poker main event will begin in Las Vegas. In 2008, a 22-year-old, Peter Eastgate, won the coveted bracelet (along with a shade over $9 million bucks) over a field of 6800. The Dane became the youngest Main Event winner, bettering Phil Hellmuth, who won the 1989 tournament as a 24-year-old.
As the game of poker grows, it’s doing with a swell of young players. In 2008, an 18-year-old, Annette Obrestad won a WSOP Europe event. So, when the 2009 Main Event Final Table concludes in November, there will be some young players with big chip stacks. Organizers will be shocked when an Internet qualifier takes the title, then reveals he is 12-years-old, playing with a fake ID.
THE CALGARY FLAMES WILL HIRE A HEAD COACH
And his name is Sutter. You heard it here first…
THE LETHBRIDGE HURRICANES WILL HIRE A HEAD COACH
It’s got to happen sooner or later. Of course this is assuming the team can decide on a general manager…
I hope you enjoyed these BOLD predictions. I realize it takes a lot of sack to put this stuff down in print, but that’s what I get paid the big bucks for. Enjoy the summer everybody! That’s if it ever starts.
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