Global News correspondent Mike Armstrong travelled to Paris immediately following the terror attacks on Nov. 13. After covering the story for a week, Mike returned home to Montreal. Here are his reflections on covering the deadly attacks and explaining the news — and his assignment — to his family.
We got home to Montreal Saturday. I took a cab from the airport to a hockey arena. My wife and two sons were at a practice and I wanted to surprise them. (Also, I’d left my house keys at home when I left the night of the attacks, so I had no way to get in.)
It was great to see my boys and their smiles from down the hall. They’re at the age where they still don’t mind hugs in public, so it was a pretty nice moment.
I see a lot of sad stuff.
That was a thought that went through my head the day after the attacks in Paris.
READ MORE: After two attacks in Paris, former ‘Charlie Hebdo’ writer says we are ‘in wartime’
We were in a crowd, standing in front of two of the restaurants that had been hit, where people were still in shock. Nearly 20 people were killed the night of Nov. 13, right where we were standing.
Parisians left their homes and come to this spot to grieve. There were candles and flowers, bullet holes and tears.
It was overwhelming, if you let it be. I tend not to do that.
You don’t get used to seeing awful things, but you get a little bit better at not letting them in.
I’ve seen some terrible things over the years. Standing in front of le Carillon and le Petit Cambodge, I actually found myself thinking about Banda Aceh, Port-au-Prince and Lac Megantic.
I’ve packed a lot of sadness into a twenty year career. Sometimes I think I’m lucky it hasn’t, well, screwed me up.
Walking back into the office Monday, people asked how I found it. “Was it scary?” No. It wasn’t scary at all.
Unless you let it in.
Being in Paris and visiting the Bataclan, or the football stadium or any of the other scenes, you could imagine what happened. You could clinically imagine what happened.
But what made the hair stand up on the back of your head was thinking about it happening again.
Right now in Paris, anywhere you go, you can imagine “it was just like this”.
As soon as you’re in a crowd, you find yourself thinking about how the group of people could have been a target.
A few times, I literally had to physically shake my head, to force myself to stop thinking about it. You can’t focus on it. You have to move on.
READ MORE: How concerned should you be about world travel after terror attacks?
On our last night in Paris, we sat down for the first time in a restaurant. It was a classic outdoor Paris terrasse with a heater overhead, a small table with a couple of chairs. I ordered a croque-monsieur and a beer.
Sitting there, with cars driving by and people on the sidewalk, you couldn’t help but think this is how it happened.
That feeling will stay with me for a while.
There was also a little lesson from this trip: be more careful with the kids.
When the news broke, I turned the TV to the BBC and CNN. My sons are 11 and 13. They were obviously shocked and I explained how far we were and that there was nothing to worry about. But I want them to be aware of the news of the world, so I’m pretty honest about what’s going on.
After about a half hour watching and answering their questions, my phone rang. It was the office asking me to go to Paris. Right away, I said yes. I’d figure out the childcare juggling, but we’d work it out. It was an important story.
Then my sons stepped in: “Um… no. No. No. No. You’re not going to Paris.”
READ MORE: How to talk to your children about the Paris attacks
This was the first time I’ve ever had to really argue with them about an assignment.
In the past, it was as simple as explaining I was going to a neat place called Afghanistan and I’d be sleeping in tents. They were too young to really understand what it meant.
They figured it out later.
Now, my younger boy gets angry and says, “You left the base! You weren’t supposed to go off the base!”
He’s upset about Afghanistan, even though he didn’t even realize what was going on at the time.
In retrospect, watching the coverage of the attacks with my boys, as the scale was just becoming clear, was a mistake. I actually felt quite badly about putting them in that situation. It wasn’t fair. Live and learn.
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