When Tania Bird imagined motherhood, she thought of a life full of love.
“I’d say, ‘Isn’t it lovely? It’s me, my husband and a combination’,” Bird explained.
She never believed her experience as a mother could take her to a very dark place.
“I did have thoughts of harming myself, my daughter and my husband,” she admitted.
After giving birth, the demands of a new baby were overwhelming. Bird developed postpartum psychosis, the most extreme of the postpartum mood disorders. She began having delusions.
“Psychosis is very scary, because you’re not with it to ask for help,” Bird said, “so people need to do it on your behalf.”
Her husband noticed something was not right and got Bird help. She spent time in the hospital, and eventually started attending a support group.
Postpartum psychosis is rare but up to 80 per cent of women suffer from mood swings or anxiety after giving birth thanks to the “baby blues” which typically last a few weeks. One in five moms suffer from symptoms of postpartum depression, including feelings of inadequacy, irritability and fatigue.
Sally Elliott, a perinatal nurse councillor for Regina’s YMCA said it is hard to admit something is wrong.
“They’ve got this thing they’ve worked so hard for, for so long, and wanted so desperately and they feel just awful,” she said. “How can they tell anybody about that?”
Getting help early is important, and friends and family need to know the warning signs.
“They include feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, ‘I can’t do this’, ‘I’m a lousy mother’,” said Elliott. “Those sorts of things need to be talked about.”
There are lots of support groups and treatments available, including a program created by Nicole Pugh, a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology at the University of Regina.
The program is a first of its kind in Canada because it is based online, making it easier for women to access. It includes text, video and audio components, and a therapist communicates with them.
In the last year, 51 women have participated, with many saying they now feel lower anxiety and fewer symptoms.
“There are a lot of treatment barriers associated with postpartum depression like transportation, challenges, child care duties,” said Pugh. “Many report that they enjoy the convenience and flexibility of online therapy.”
In her support group, Bird met two women who became her best friends. Together, they wrote a book about their experiences called “The Smiling Mask”.
“We view it now as a blessing after the fact,” said Bird. “To take that adversity and then help others.”
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